The Art of Seduction
by Bisexual Pygmy
Summary: Yoji and Omi join forces to seduce the objects of their desire OmixKen YojixAya
1. Revelations

OmixKen YojixAya  
  
Being as this is my story, I am Thor, Ra, and Zeus all rolled into one, so if I get some of the facts wrong, tough noogies.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't even own the episodes to watch. I had to borrow them  
  
Revelations  
  
Yoji  
  
We really don't get along very well. You would think that we would considering our job and that we can't talk to anyone else, but the truth is, we almost immediately split into cliques upon meeting.  
  
Aya is the human Popsicle. He has no emotion. I have no clue what he talks about with Ken that makes them so close, but I have to admit, I'm jealous. I've had the hots for Aya ever since I first saw him and he gave me that look that said "What the fuck do you think you're looking at, there is no way in hell you deserve me."  
  
Ken on the other hand is annoying as all hell. He's so enthusiastic and clean that it's infuriating. Once, after a late night reminisce session where I was telling Omi about this blonde I screwed in the back seat of his boyfriends Mercedes (I'm gay, despite my flirting), Ken caught me on the way back to my room and held me up by my collar against the wall and told me in no uncertain terms that if I tainted sweet innocent Omi I would have five very deep and possibly lethal scratches from my neck to my groin. If only he knew.  
  
Ken and Aya make up the "Oblivious" (comparable to dumb jocks) and Omi and I are the "Perverts" (like the horny cheerleaders).  
  
Now, I know what you're thinking. Sweet wonderful adorable Omi isn't perverted, who do you think you're trying to fool Yoji. Omi is much too cute to be horny.  
  
And that my friend, is your mistake.  
  
Now you're thinking Yoji, you wouldn't know innocence if it fucked you in the ass.  
  
That's true, I'm not an expert, for all I know there are some people that are that clean (though I doubt it, never, in the history of the world has there been a teenage boy that didn't think of sex 20 times a day), but Omi isn't one of them.  
  
And I know because he told me.  
  
Omi reached the age of 14 and the end of his puberty at a whopping 120 pounds. That's when he realized that he would never be a Greek sex god, and resorted to the next best thing to get laid.  
  
Cuteness.  
  
I can see you looking at me like I'm crazy, and I know, it sounds crazy. When he told me that I outright laughed. He then went over and talked to the waitress (we were at a diner) for about 10 minutes, then they both disappeared into the women's bathroom. A half hour later he came out slightly more rumpled with a smug grin on his face, and sat down to eat his now cold flapjacks.  
  
I was in the presence of the master.  
  
Apparently being an inexperienced virgin makes the more experienced girls hot to teach an adorable little puppy like Omi the joys of sex.  
  
The kid can blush on command.  
  
He never brings anyone home. He says that it makes it more credible when he is overcome with sudden passion and allows them to take his virginity in the girls bathroom with a condom from the tampon machine then if he drove them home on his motor bike and pulled a line of condoms in every color of the rainbow out of his well stocked drawer. (He keeps a drawer stocked with condoms and lube for when Ken and Aya are away and we go clubbing. He has never failed to pick someone up, man or woman, he isn't particular, and they're usually to drunk to notice that it isn't normal for a virgin to be so well prepared.)  
  
After every one of his conquests he comes and gives the girl/guy a ranking from 1 to 10 and laughs as he tells me about how they mumbled something about him having natural talent as they reached their sixth orgasm.  
  
I toyed with the idea of sleeping with him once or twice, but he flat out refuses to be on the bottom (He says he's saving himself for someone) and I can't let Omi top me, master or not, it would still be too embarrassing.  
  
Besides, the one I really want is Aya. I don't even know if he's open to sex at all, for all I've seen he is 100% asexual and has no urges whatsoever. I haven't told Omi about this little obsession of mine. I don't care if he knows, but lately he has been having sex less and staring into space more and giving all indications of someone who is head over balls infatuated with someone and won't tell me who it is.  
  
Speaking of Omi, wasn't he supposed to come to my room to night to watch a movie and compare notes?  
  
I'm going to have to check on Omi. I can hear something coming from his room. Sounds like stifled moans and heavy breathing.  
  
Ha ha, little Omittchi is either having a wet dream or jerking off.  
  
"Oh Ken"  
  
I about wet myself. Omi has a crush on Ken of all people. You think you know a guy. Oh well. I can make this work out in my favor. I think it's time for Omi and me to join forces. 


	2. Combining Forces

OmixKen YojixAya  
  
Being as this is my story, I am Thor, Ra, and Zeus all rolled into one, so if I get some of the facts wrong, tough noogies.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't even own the episodes to watch. I had to borrow them  
  
Combining Forces  
  
--Omi--  
  
Ken is so sexy.  
  
I don't think he even knows. The way he comes down for breakfast in just his boxers.  
  
Lucky boxers.  
  
He walks in with a casual "hey Omi" and heads over to the fridge. I watch as he gets out the juice and drinks it from the carton.  
  
I have a rule that I never seduce people I actually know. Close friends, people that I have in several classes, all off limits. My teammates from Weiss should most defiantly be out (no pun intended). All that went out the window the minute Manx said those fateful words,  
  
"Omi, this is Ken Hidaka, you are going to be working together from now on."  
  
One look at his lean form and his big shit-eating grin and I was hooked. I'm not sure what it is about him but he just makes me feel all warm and tingly inside whenever he's around.  
  
I think I'm in love.  
  
Orange juice dribbles down his chin and onto his perfect tanned chest. I want to go clean it up with my tongue.  
  
I want to do a lot of things with my tongue.  
  
As I'm thinking these far from innocent thoughts he finishes the carton and puts it back in the fridge.  
  
He drives me nuts. I have never truly desired anyone as much as I want Ken.  
  
He tousles my hair in a very brother-like way as he leaves the kitchen.  
  
"Have a good day at school kid."  
  
I could throttle him.  
  
--Yoji--  
  
I watched the exchange in the kitchen while I tried to hide my laughter.  
  
Omi was watching Ken like he was sex on a stick and Ken was completely oblivious.  
  
I saw Omi's hand reach unconsciously for his ever present darts when Ken called him kid.  
  
Time to make my move.  
  
"So, how long have you been jerking off while you moan Kenken's name?"  
  
"Since two weeks after I met him. But I started fantasizing about him exclusively about a month ago."  
  
Omi said all of this with his usual, pleasant grin on his face like we were talking about his day at school. Not even a hint of a blush. He wasn't in the slightest bit embarrassed that I had heard him pleasuring himself.  
  
We talked about this for awhile and I told him about my crush on Aya. He didn't seem surprised. Little shit.  
  
Something had to be done about this ever increasing sexual tension if we were going to continue to function as a well trained team.  
  
We agreed to work together to get as much time alone with the objects of our affection as possible. Operation: Sleep With Aya starts tonight.  
  
*Thank you to my three wonderful reviewers 


	3. Unofficial, NonConsensual Date

OmixKen YojixAya  
  
Being as this is my story, I am Thor, Ra, and Zeus all rolled into one, so if I get some of the facts wrong, tough noogies.  
  
Disclaimer: All I have is a credit card that I maxed out, not buying junk food or exciting underwear, no no no, buying a ridiculous number of text books. Mostly for the same class, DAMN YOU CHEMISTRY  
  
*Special Treat, double sized chapter to hold everyone over until after my Organic Chemistry test next Wednesday. Thanks for all the great reviews.*  
  
Unofficial Non-Consensual Date  
  
--Yoji--  
  
It was a wonderful plan. Brilliant in its simplicity.  
  
Omi hacked into the hospital mainframe and got the name and some specifics on the guy in the room next to Aya-chan. When Aya said he was going to the hospital I offered to give him a ride telling him I needed to visit a friend.  
  
We were supposed to commiserate on the way there, and then stop for dinner on the way home. He was supposed to open up about his fears and insecurities and then we would come home and have self-pity sex.  
  
Problem was, Aya's not the type to commiserate.  
  
He didn't say a word to me the entire time.  
  
We drove to the hospital while he ignored my attempts at friendly conversation. I went to visit the comatose guy next door for a few minutes to keep up appearances and then went back into Aya-chan's room figuring he was about done.  
  
Aya glared at me until I went to wait in the hall.  
  
An hour and a half later he came out and walked past me without saying anything.  
  
We drove straight home.  
  
--Omi--  
  
I had never tried to seduce someone I actually knew before, but I wasn't worried about that.  
  
I was worried about my subtle ministrations going right over Kenken's gorgeous, thick head.  
  
I had rented a romance. I know, you're thinking that since I was trying to seduce Ken I should rent a movie he would really like right? Wrong!  
  
I needed a movie that I could be thoroughly engrossed in while it barely kept his attention at all. That way I could make what looked like very casual contact and seem not to notice, but since he wasn't really watching the movie he would be all too aware of where I put my hands.  
  
Normally I would have gotten a Disney cartoon, but I felt that with Ken I needed to downplay the cute.  
  
I ordered a pizza with pepperoni and mushrooms (I hate mushrooms) and dressed in boxers and a shirt of Ken's that I stole out of the laundry for the occasion. It was three sizes to big and fell off of my left shoulder.  
  
The movie was cued up, the pizza was here, everything was ready for Operation: Fuck Kenken (I had thought about calling it Operation: Start A Deep And Meaningful Relationship That Will Probably Last For The Rest Of My Short Life With Ken Hidaka, but Fuck Kenken just has a nice ring to it. Besides, I don't want to be too optimistic.)  
  
Ken inhaled his pizza and then tried to escape upstairs, saying he was really tired.  
  
Bull, he just didn't want to watch Untamed Hearts.  
  
I guilt him into staying with me when I let my eyes get really big and watery.  
  
He caved almost immediately, I love being me.  
  
So we sat to watch the overall mediocre movie. After ten minutes, I carefully leaned over and rested my head in his lap. He absently started stroking my hair. At a particularly heart-wrenching scene I gripped his thigh and squeezed.  
  
He didn't notice.  
  
He was really into the dumb movie. This movie was dumb by my standards and he was watching it like it was a murder mystery he was very close to solving.  
  
I tried everything. I rubbed his legs, wiggled up against his body, everything short of jumping on his lap and demanding sex. I was very close to doing just that when Aya and Yoji came home an hour earlier then promised and Aya went up to his room, alone. Yoji shot me a look and went to bed as well.  
  
Oh well, at least I'm not the only one who isn't getting laid tonight.  
  
---Later That Night  
  
--Ken--  
  
I wish Omi wasn't so innocent.  
  
I have always had this intense attraction to him, but through a rigorous schedule of cold showers and.ahem, venting my sexual frustrations by myself, I have managed to keep from violating him in the storage closet.  
  
Now that's an idea.  
  
NO NO BAD KEN  
  
Omi is off limits. The kid is too impressionable. If I was to tell him about my feelings he would probably let me ravish him just to make me happy, and I don't want pity sex.  
  
It's never as good.  
  
Oh, plus there's the whole sweet innocent virgin factor. I do not want to take advantage of him, no matter how big of a turn on that is.  
  
I can't sleep with him because I would lose my best friend, but I'm in danger of losing him anyway.  
  
Omi is a very affectionate person, but he's so innocent he doesn't understand the hidden meanings behind several of his touches and actions.  
  
For example, this morning at breakfast he was eating a bowl of candy coated sugar, and when I walked in he was licking his spoon in a very provocative manner. To him, it was just getting as much cavity causing goodness as he could out of his breakfast,  
  
But to me it was the promise of a blowjob I was not going to get.  
  
And then Yoji and Aya went out so he wanted me to come watch some dumb romance movie with him. He put his head in my lap, played with my hair, innocent touches to him but sheer torture to me.  
  
Not to mention he was wearing my shirt, which of course made him look like he had just crawled out of my bed after a night of wild sex.  
  
I had to keep my eyes glued to the screen because I knew if I looked at him I would tackle him.  
  
One of these days I'm going to lose it and pounce on him, but I would prefer for him to remain innocent for as long as he can.  
  
There he goes for another late night talk with Yoji. I hope Yoji isn't trying to seduce him.  
  
.uh oh  
  
Come to think of it, they have been spending an awful lot of time together lately.  
  
I just might have to have a little talk with Yoji.  
  
*And remember, Karma smiles on those who review*  
  
oh, also, can anyone tell me how Shuichi Takatori died? I need to know for my next fic, don't worry, I promise to finish this one first 


	4. Researching the Objective

OmixKen YojixAya  
  
Being as this is my story, I am Thor, Ra, and Zeus all rolled into one, so if I get some of the facts wrong, tough noogies.  
  
Disclaimer: All I have is a credit card that I maxed out, not buying junk food or exciting underwear, no no no, buying a ridiculous number of text books. Mostly for the same class, DAMN YOU CHEMISTRY  
  
You people are a bad influence. I was all set to study but I got so many nice reviews that I skipped going to the gym and polished off the new chapter. Only one more to go after this. Oh, and I have a stand alone auxiliary fic that I will publish with the last chapter. I would like to say that this will most defiantly be it until next week, but who am I kidding, I can't deny you guys.  
  
Special thanks to everyone who reviewed and answered my question. Especially Sky Rat, that was just the detail I needed.  
  
Researching the Objective  
  
--Yoji--  
  
After last nights fiasco, Omi and I have decided that we are going about this all the wrong way.  
  
We are going to switch targets and feel each others out.  
  
So I am off in search of Ken.  
  
I found him. He was sitting on my bed with his arms folded glaring at the door.  
  
Always the last place you look.  
  
I wonder how long he had been holding that position waiting for me.  
  
I don't know what has gotten him so mad, but I do not have time to deal with it right now. I'll have to use a little of my patent Yoji charm to diffuse the situation.  
  
"Hey Ken, wow you look great today"  
  
Ken blinks, extremely confused. No longer looking like he wants to bite my head off though, works every time.  
  
"So Kenken, what do you look for in a relationship?"  
  
"Someone that isn't you Kudou."  
  
"Could you be more specific?"  
  
"How about someone that doesn't screw anything with a hole?"  
  
Damn, tough luck Chibi. Well, Ken is mad; he is probably just trying to discourage me and wouldn't care about Omi's promiscuousness.  
  
"How do you feel about Omi?"  
  
Ken blinks again  
  
"You know, Omittchi, Chibi, that adorable little piece of ass down the hall."  
  
"Don't talk about him like that"  
  
"Come on Ken; don't tell me you haven't thought about bedding him. He's incredibly sexy."  
  
" . . . "  
  
"Come on, can't you just see him, screaming in pleasure, writhing around on the bed, those big blue eyes looking up with trust as he learns about the world of carnal pleasure?"  
  
Ken is about the shade of a fire truck and he is sputtering while he tries to think of an insult and blood gushes from his nose.  
  
"You two are pretty good friends right? I mean, if you were to talk to him about it."  
  
"I AM NOT YOUR PIMP YOJI!" and Ken ran off to his room and slammed the door.  
  
. . . So, that went well.  
  
Meanwhile  
  
Yoji is such a man whore.  
  
It was bad enough when Omi started making late night visits to his room, but now he's hitting on Ken too.  
  
Ken's a real idiot sometimes though, I don't think he noticed.  
  
Ken's really got a thing for Omi. I mean bad. He probably wouldn't care what a slut Omi is. I think Ken is actually in love with the boy. I wonder how he feels about sharing Omi with Yoji.  
  
And me if Omi has his way.  
  
Omi wants my body. Not ten minutes ago he was in here being all sweet and cute and asking me what I did for fun. If I didn't know about his nocturnal activities I would have thought he was just being a sweet and concerned friend, but I know Omi a little better then that.  
  
I read his diary.  
  
Or "Omi's Conquests" as it's titled on the first page. For being secretive he sure doesn't hide things well, it only took me ten minutes to find it in his condom drawer after he made an off-hand comment about having a diary.  
  
The boy gets some serious play.  
  
I can see why though. He wrote his measurements on the first page. Assuming he wasn't exaggerating (and why would he? This is his private diary no one else will ever read) he is more then adequately endowed.  
  
He puts me, and probably the rest of Weiss (although I've never measured Ken's) to shame. It's ridiculous really, way out of proportion to the rest of his body. He probably looks funny when he's naked.  
  
*And remember, Karma smiles on those who review* 


	5. When All Else Fails

OmixKen YojixAya  
  
Being as this is my story, I am Thor, Ra, and Zeus all rolled into one, so if I get some of the facts wrong, tough noogies.  
  
Disclaimer: All I have is a credit card that I maxed out, not buying junk food or exciting underwear, no no no, buying a ridiculous number of text books. Mostly for the same class, DAMN YOU CHEMISTRY  
  
Aw screw it, the last chapter was short and I can't deny you your pleasure, I'll just post them both at once. I have this problem with needing instant gratification.  
  
When All Else Fails  
  
--Yoji--  
  
I am so horny  
  
I haven't had sex in like three weeks.  
  
Aya is sitting there, reading something. It's driving me crazy. I don't think I can take much more of this celibacy thing.  
  
No, don't think that way Yoji. You love this man. He deserves your patience.  
  
As I watch, he puts his book down and stretches like a cat.  
  
Alright, plan B.  
  
I head to the liquor cabinet and make him a mint julep (old lady drink that Aya prefers). After he loosens up some I will suggest shots. It's nothing new, we've played drinking games together before.  
  
When all else fails, get him really drunk and see where the night takes you. I hope it takes me to having sex land.  
  
--Omi--  
  
As I watch a drunken Aya lead a slightly less drunk Yoji up the stairs to the bedrooms I feel extremely pissed.  
  
Totally not fair. I am not old enough to get drunk without Ken getting suspicious and Ken doesn't drink anyway.  
  
Ken is sitting over there, reading the paper, acting like it's perfectly natural for us to not be having sex right now.  
  
He really chaps my ass sometimes.  
  
As he finishes his paper he looks at me with this big stupid grin and messes with my hair again.  
  
I look at him and say in the most husky, unchild-like voice I can muster "what do you want to do tonight Kenken?"  
  
"I'm too sleepy to hangout tonight kiddo. Sorry, maybe tomarrow night okay?'  
  
And I watch flabbergasted as he calmly walks up the stairs to his room.  
  
No way in hell.  
  
To hell with subtlety. For all Ken's sex appeal and being a wonderful person, he's about as perceptive as a rock.  
  
I run up to my room, passing by Yoji's on the way. The obvious sounds of sex help to steal my resolve.  
  
I close the door behind me and strip naked. I better hurry or the idiot will already be asleep.  
  
Going to my nightstand I grab a line of condoms and the big tube of lube. I have no doubt that Ken has these things in his room, but if I just go in there naked he will assume I was taking a shower and came over to borrow his conditioner.  
  
Not even taking the time to close the drawer, I run across the hall and try to open Ken's door.  
  
It's locked.  
  
And I hear muffled moans and heavy breathing.  
  
I bang on the door repeatedly and I don't stop until he opens, grinning sheepishly and looking like he dressed in a hurry.  
  
He takes one look at me and the grin vanishes, replaced by a look akin to terror.  
  
Not letting him say anything, I tackle him. Forcing him back onto the bed with a brutal, biting kiss.  
  
Lots of tongue  
  
When all else fails, jump his bones and hope for the best.  
  
Morning After  
  
--Yoji--  
  
I woke up to the distinct sensation on being pinched in half. I looked down at the red head doing the pinching expecting to see those violet eyes glaring at me as he slowly killed me by separating the top of my torso from the bottom, only to be met with closed eyes and a thin line of drool.  
  
He was still sleeping.  
  
Who would have thought Aya was a cuddler?  
  
I went back to sleep, glad that I wasn't about to die. Shame to die right at the beginning of what promised to be a great relationship.  
  
--Omi--  
  
Oh wow. That was amazing.  
  
I have more then enough experience in this area, and I have fantasized about Ken more times then I can count but nothing could come close to the mind-blowing reality.  
  
I have absolutely no memory of what happened. All I know is it happened more then once and I might have even let him top.  
  
Or not, I don't really remember.  
  
I'm not sure if it's because he is really really good in bed or it's just because I'm nuts about him.  
  
I guess it doesn't matter anymore. He's mine now; I can sort that out later.  
  
And I'm all his.  
  
--Aya--  
  
Oh shit.  
  
This is not my room.  
  
I am in an oddly familiar looking room, naked in bed with someone I am trying to get the nerve to look at.  
  
Oh, good. It's Yoji. That means this is probably just another one of those erotic dreams I have on occasion. Yoji drives me wild.  
  
Hn, odd. Usually in my dreams he is ripping off all of my clothes while he talks dirty. I've never had a dream where the sex is already over.  
  
Oh well, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. I'll just lay here and cuddle some more until I really wake up.  
  
Too bad Yoji's straight. In my dreams he's amazing in bed.  
  
--Ken--  
  
I'm naked in my bed with Omi.  
  
FUCK I'M NAKED IN BED WITH OMI.  
  
I violated my best friend.  
  
My sweet innocent best friend.  
  
I vaguely remember having really good sex last night.  
  
He's so beautiful when he sleeps.  
  
We'll have to talk about this when he wakes up. He'll probably be embarrassed and scared about how I feel about him. I bet he'll want a seriously committed relationship.  
  
That's fine with me.  
  
I just wish we had talked about it before I compromised him, now he's going to feel pressured.  
  
I wonder why my ass is so sore.  
  
-END-  
  
While you bask in the afterglow of my great story, I have a special BONUS chapter that will give you some idea of Omi's expertise.  
  
BONUS  
  
THE SEDUCTION OF THE WAITRESS  
  
"It's true Yoji, you would be amazed at how much action you get for being cute"  
  
-trying not to laugh- "Yeah sure kid"  
  
"See that waitress over there?"  
  
"Which one?"  
  
"The 20 something blonde"  
  
"Yeah what about her?"  
  
Omi walked over to the counter and spoke softly so the Yoji wouldn't hear him.  
  
"Hi, my name is Omi" (Omi blushes prettily)  
  
"Hi Omi, what can I do for you?"  
  
"See my friend over there?"  
  
"The one at the table with the long hair?"  
  
"Yeah that's the one. I just wanted to warn you that he.well he.he told me he was going to.have sex with you. I think he is going to try to seduce you to prove a point, and I wanted you to know. You seem like a nice lady, but I have seen Yoji-kun work and he is really good at taking advantage of people" (this entire speech was said with Omi looking at his feet and blushing scarlet. When he said sex it was barely a whisper)  
  
"What point does he want to prove?"  
  
"He's trying to show me that girls aren't scary. My girlfriend broke up with me because I was too nervous to sleep with her. I am glad he wants to teach me, but I think it would make you feel cheap. Besides, it's not like I will ever need it Yoji says I will never find another girl that wants to make love to someone so skinny and small."  
  
"Did he now? Come on Omi. I can help you get over your fears much quicker then any man."  
  
"How?"  
  
"You'll see" (waitress is smirking knowingly)  
  
For more tips sleeping around, read "The Assassin's Guide to Womanizing" On fanfiction.net now!  
  
*And remember, Karma smiles on those who review* 


End file.
